Roy: Five Things
by Princess Caroline
Summary: Originally part of a collection of one-shots, I took it down and decided to add each one separately. This one focuses on Roy, because Roy is my favorite Smasher and I love him soooo much. Just a funny little thing I came up with randomly. Hope you like.


**Roy: Five Reasons He Hasn't Been Killed Yet**

(Note: I took this down and edited it a little bit. This was originally in a set of one-shots that were all together as a collection, but I took that down and decided to edit them before posting them separately. This was inspired by another fanfiction written for an anime called Azumanga Daioh. If I get any complaints from said author, I will take this down, I promise. Anything that has been previously copyrighted is not mine.)

1 - Roy makes a good scapegoat on the rare occasion that they do mess up.

_Roy grimaced as he came to a particularly difficult patch of scorch marks to scrub out._ That stupid plumber,_ he thought to himself._ He loses control of one lousy fireball and I immediately get blamed. I'm not the only one with fire techniques around here! Samus with her rocket launcher, Mario and Luigi with their fireballs, Zelda's Din thing, Peach's butt..._Roy paused, then shook his head to erase that mental image from his head._

2 - Sometimes Roy can be more convincing than any of those lame motivational speakers.

_Link was on the patio of the Smash Mansion, watching Zelda and Peach picking wildflowers and making flower crowns to wear. Wow, Zelda looked beautiful, golden dandelions and snow-colored daisies adorning her sunlit blonde hair. For the longest time, Link had been hopelessly crushing on her. But how to tell her?_

"_Staring at Zelda again?" Link turned to see Roy standing behind him. The pyro smirked, his red hair and gold cape blowing in the wind. "You'll never get anywhere if you stay here on the patio." A strange look crossed her face. "Besides, I thought you two were brother and sister. Wasn't that how it was in one of the earlier Legend of Zelda games?"_

_Link turned. "Who told you that?"_

"_I think it was Caroline's cousin who told her that, and then she told me."_

_"Whatever, we're not siblings. I can't tell her," Link sighed, turning back to face the object of his affection. "I've known her too long. It would completely ruin our friendship. I mean, I go up to her, blabbing about secret feelings, only to find out she likes someone else…we're talking total flame-out!" Link whirled around and grabbed Roy by the shoulders. "Do you hear me? TOTAL FLAME-OUT!"_

_Roy smiled in his naïve, annoying way. "I like flames." Then the pyro turned around and went to find Marth. Link was deeply offended by Roy's comment and became determined not to satisfy him. Puffing out his chest, he marched straight over to the pink princess whom he adored so much._

_Ever since then, Link and Zelda have been enjoying a happy romance, much to Roy's disappointment._

3 - If they killed Roy, then they would be deprived of seeing him commit suicide in the stupidest way possible.

"_Roy, this must be the third time you've fallen down the stairs today!" Zelda was tending to Roy's scrapes and cuts because Dr. Mario was sick of seeing Roy in the medical bay._

"_I still can't believe that he didn't die this time," said Popo._

_Nana smacked her older brother upside the head. "Big Brother, be nice!"_

"_I didn't get all of these bruises and cuts from falling down the stairs!" Roy retorted. "I was broken by what broke my fall!"_

"_Well, what broke your fall?" asked Zelda, wrapping a long bandage around Roy's arm._

"…_Samus…"_

_Everyone in the room shared a glance, then flinched in unison._

"_Considering it's Samus, I'd say you got off easy," said Popo._

4 - There are a few advantages in knowing him.

"_Hey Roy!" Marth called to his Fire Emblem buddy. "You going down to the store?" Roy nodded, brandishing a twenty-dollar bill for candy. "Could you get me a set of mechanical pencils, please?"_

"_No way! Get your own!" Roy fired at him._

_Peach walked up behind him. "You're not doing it right, Marth," she whispered to the cobalt. Then to Roy, "I challenge you to buy Marth a set of mechanical pencils!"_

"_Ha ha! Too easy, Princess! I can do that in my sleep!"_

"_Well then, I guess you can buy me a package of gel pens, too," Peach teased, giving Marth a wink. "You...are macho enough to do it, right?"_

"_You're on, sister!" Roy grinned like a crazy elf and ran off._

"_I can't remember the last time I went to the store myself," Peach bragged to Marth._

_Marth thought about that for a minute, then smiled. "I'll have to remember that little trick. Thank you, Princess."_

_Just then, Roy came streaking back, arms laden with his candy, Marth's pencils, and Peach's gel pens. "I'm back! What's my time?"_

_Marth sweat-dropped as he took his pencils. "No one was timing you, _baka_."_

5 – Roy is my favorite Smasher, and I am so mad that they took him out of Brawl and replaced him with Ike.

A/N: Don't get me wrong, Ike's a good character and his Up-A Smash is amazingly effective. I just like Roy, that's all.


End file.
